DEALING WITH AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP(CONT’D POST)

Dealing with an abusive relationship is never easy. You may feel you can change your partner if you put in enough effort. You might even take the blame for your partner’s flaws.

But you must recognize that you can’t change your partner and it is best to seek help or better still, leave d relationship.

Making your partner realize that he or she is hurting you is not your responsibility. Abusers do not change just because you want them to or you show them love. They need to learn to act with love.

You aren’t doing yourself or your partner any favors by staying in the relationship. You may feel like you are “the only person who understands him” or feel like “he or she is a very good person if you get to know him/her”. You shouldn’t think this way. Don’t minimize how much pain this person causes you. It is not heroic to stay with a person that disrespects you. Infact, if anything were to happen to you tomorrow, you would be forgotten very quickly. Life goes on without you. There have been cases were such have been seen and even heard. Most times, the woman may loose her life all in the name of the love she has for her husband. Pretty soon after her death, the guy forgets her or may even remarry. So you see there really is no point in risking your life in the claims that you love your partner and might change him if you stay in the relationship.

When you eventually decide to stop being abused physically and emotionally by your partner, the following steps would be of help to you:

*Know when to say goodbye
Sometimes, relationships are just wrong and can’t be saved. For your sake, and that of your mental health, try hard to recognize as early as possible if a relationship is worth working on. Remember it’s unlikely that your partner will ever change.

*Put your safety first
Always ensure you don’t get hurt during physical fights. Try to protect yourself as much as possible. Remember you only have one life to live.

*Have your phone on you at all times
Make sure you always have a phone on you. You can never tell when things could spiral out of control and you might be needing your phone at that time.

*Escape to a safe location
If you are leaving, make sure you do so to a safe location. Ensure it is a place your partner can’t easily find you. This is so you can avoid danger and the state of always living in fear.

*Cut off contact
Delete/block the contact of your partner on your phone and on social media. You need to move on with your life and your partner doesn’t need to see how well you’re living without him.

*Take care of yourself
Ensure you take good care of yourself. See a psychologist if necessary. Know what you went through isn’t easy on anyone and you deserve proper care. You might need to talk to someone to let go of your emotions. Do so if you feel like it. You could take up a professional class such as baking classes, make-up classes etc. You could even go hiking, camping or take a summer trip Just ensure you are happy and healthy both physically and emotionally.

I hope this article has been useful to someone. Hope you’re having a great Sunday everyone!😊😊